There is no such thing as time to myself....

"Mommy!!!!!"

"Mommy is trying to get ready for bed honey!"

"But, Mommy!!!!!!"

"I'll give you a pwesent (baby talk)!!!!"

"How can I resist, come in and help mommy get ready for bed!"

A typical night in the Murphy household. LOL

Feelings

This will be another random post. A "me" post. Having a rough time lately. I look at my daughters and see how big they are getting and it is making me sad. They are growing so fast. I wish I could stop time but I can't. I love every moment with them. I love seeing them grow. I love the new things they discover but I am also very selfish. I don't want them to grow. I want them to stay little. I worry about the future. About them growing up, about being able to provide for them. I would love to give them a little brother or sister. I want to have another baby so bad but I know it isn't going to happen. My new job doesn't have infertility coverage. I can only have a baby through IVF so that's not an option. My husband is against having another. I feel numb sometimes when I see all of my friends pregnant and their husbands want lots of children. I am so happy for them but am envious too. I want to be pregnant again. I want just one more. Oh well. It is all up to God, not me. I have two beautiful little girls. I am so blessed. This too shall pass. There are so many that haven't even had one baby. I need to keep my mouth shut. I'm sorry.

I keep going back and forth on closing this blog. I still have the followers but no one is really following. Why should they? I don't blog. I don't have anything good to say. I'm busy. Always busy. Too busy actually. I work full time, take care of two babies and a husband when I'm not working. I don't have the time.

I read everyone's blog still. I have a job where I can't be on the computer that much. I can't comment like I used to. I do follow though. I read on my lunch breaks. I pray for those who are suffering and rejoice with those who are pregnant. I cry for those in pain and laugh with those who tell their funny stories. I'm here, I promise. I have a new email address for those who are interested. Let me know. I hope all is well.

Love,
Kami